Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.
Leviticus 19:3 Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths: I am the LORD your God.
Proverbs 15:5 A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.
Proverbs 23:22-25 Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.
Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
Proverbs 30:17 The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.
Malachi 1:6 “A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am a father, where is my honor? And if I am a master, where is my fear? says the LORD of hosts to you
Of all our duties to our fellow-men, the first and most fundamental is our duty towards our parents, which lies at the root of all our social relations, and is the first of which we naturally become conscious. Honour, reverence, and obedience are due to parents from the position in which they stand to their children :—(1) As, in a certain sense, the authors of their being; (2) as their shelterers and nourishers; (3) as their protectors and educators, from whom they derive the foundation of their moral training and the first elements of their knowledge. (Ellicott)
Honour thy father and thy mother, includes esteem of them, shown in our conduct; obedience to their lawful commands; come when they call you, go where they send you, do what they bid you, refrain from what they forbid you; and this, as children, cheerfully, and from a principle of love. Also submission to their counsels and corrections. Endeavouring, in every thing, to comfort parents, and to make their old age easy; maintaining them if they need support, which our Saviour makes to be particularly intended in this commandment. (Henry)
How many sons and daughters, including us as sons and daughters, have done that which does not honor their fathers and mothers? It is my life and I will live it as I deem best for me. Your ways are old fashion and meaningless today. It is clear that when God’s Word and things of God are minimized in a person’s life, any attention given to that which will honor their parents will be as well, not to mention, more importantly, honoring and glorifying God. There is a promise that comes with obedience to this commandment. How many other promises of God are forfeited in our lives because of the lack of desire for honoring, glorifying, serving, worshiping, praising, and trusting Him? Honor and glory to God will honor and glorify parents. Whereas God will always deserve and is worthy of honor and glory, parents may not seem worthy and may do things that their adult children do not agree with. (rightly or wrongly) Our parents and us as parents will have times in our lives when we make wrong choices, say and do wrong things, and hurt our testimony before God and others. Children are not blind and will see this. Adult children will see this.
We can be Christian adult children with parents who are not. These parents can be full of vile words and do things very contrary to the things of God. How is a person to honor their parents who reject God and things of God? In love. We do not support sinful behavior, ie giving money so they can buy alcohol or do more gambling. Though we might buy them food, mow their yard, fix their car, repair their home, visit them, etc…. and show them loving concern. I am not saying this will be easy. How do you respond to a parent who always ask for money and lies to you continually and belittles your love and support for them? This has to be one of the hardest tests of displayed love for an adult child. Ground rules and be expressed and established, in love, to your parents. If you are drunk when we come over with our children we will leave. If you talk evil of God and things of God in front of our children we will leave. There are many things we can establish to protect our children but there are also many things we can do to show love in the absence of the children present.
Love will allow me to see the drunkenness and still show love. Love will allow me to see hate for God and things of God and still show love. Love will allow me to see wasted resources and still show love. Love will allow me to see a pity party and still show love. Love will allow me to hear belittling comments and still show love. This is an honor given to fathers and mothers who it would seem do not deserve it. Does that sound familiar? While we were yet sinners, God displayed His love for us by giving His only Son to redeem us. This is unconditional love, undeserved and freely given.
Honor thy father and mother.
