Genesis 50:15 When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “It may be that Joseph will hate us and pay us back for all the evil that we did to him.” So they sent a message to Joseph, saying, “Your father gave this command before he died: ‘Say to Joseph, “Please forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you.”’ And now, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.” Joseph wept when they spoke to him. His brothers also came and fell down before him and said, “Behold, we are your servants.” But Joseph said to them, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.” Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.
The brothers feared that perhaps Joseph would turn on them after Jacob’s death. Knowing human nature, this was certainly possible. Here, they freely acknowledged all the evil which they did. What they worried about was justice. They feared righteous retribution. Joseph, with his high status and prestige in Egypt, was certainly capable of bringing this retribution. From a human perspective, Joseph had the right and the ability to bring retribution upon his brothers, but he knew God was God and he was not. Such retribution was God’s place, not Joseph’s. Every Christian should be able to see the overarching and overruling hand of God in their life; to know that no matter what evil man brings against us, God can use it for good. Joseph did not have the text of Romans 8:28, but he had the truth of it: And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Sadly, many of us who have the text do not have the truth. Ultimately, our lives are not in the hands of men, but in the hands of God, who overrules all things for His glory. Because Joseph trusted the overarching hand of God, even in all the evil that came upon him through his brothers, he showed the love and compassion to them he did. Often, the problem we have in loving others and in freeing ourselves from bitterness we may have towards them is really a problem of not knowing who God is and trusting Him to be who He says He is. (Guzik)
Various motives might cause the sons of Jacob to continue in Egypt, notwithstanding the prophetic vision Abraham had of their bondage there. Judging of Joseph from the general temper of human nature, they thought he would now avenge himself on those who hated and injured him without cause. Not being able to resist, or to flee away, they attempted to soften him by humbling themselves. They pleaded with him as the servants of Jacob’s God. Joseph was much affected at seeing this complete fulfilment of his dreams. He directs them not to fear him, but to fear God; to humble themselves before the Lord, and to seek the Divine forgiveness. He assures them of his own kindness to them. See what an excellent spirit Joseph was of, and learn of him to render good for evil. He comforted them, and, to banish all their fears, he spake kindly to them. Broken spirits must be bound up and encouraged. Those we love and forgive, we must not only do well for, but speak kindly to. (Henry)
How sad it is for the heart of a person to carry the burden of their actions upon another person and not seek forgiveness for the harm they have caused. What harm can be caused by humbly acknowledging a wrong you have committed and asking for forgiveness? If you are forgiven, two hearts are free of the burden. If you are not forgiven then you have done your best to reconcile and the burden is lessened in your heart.
It is hard for a proud and prideful person to admit they have wronged a person, let alone seek forgiveness. The humble heart that admits and acknowledges a wrong they have committed has a steeper and harder task ahead, “Forgiving themselves”. I think this is one of the hardest things to do but it is essential for the heart to heal.