Matthew 18:21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
We read in Matthew 18:15 what we are to do if a brother/sister sins against us. We are to go to them alone and tell them of the offense and what to do if they are not repentant. Here, Jesus explains further how forgiveness is to be applied to a repentant brother/sister. There is no limit on how many times forgiveness is to be applied to the repentant heart of the offender no matter how big the offense or action. We can come up with hypothetical situations where our forgiveness to others seems impossible. This is true until we see the great price that was paid for our sin (offenses) against God. We reject His worthiness of having an active presence in our lives. We neglect to honor and glorify Him in all we say thing and do. We want to please ourselves more than please Him. We display greed, lust, hate, anger, pride, self-worth, self-reliance, and worldly desires giving no thought to Jesus Christ whom we are to serve, honor, and glorify. We limit our forgiveness, withhold our kindness and generosity, and we display no want to and make no attempt reconcile with our offender. Contrast this with while we were sinning and giving no thought to our actions and how they might be offensive to God, or how they might hurt others, or how they might lead others to do the same, God, sent His Son to pay the debts of all of our individual sins. If we were to try to count the number of our sins they could not be counted, for they are more than we can know. And yet, God sent His Son to redeem us by paying a high price for our sin, His sacrifice, suffering, and death on the cross. If we were to stop right here one would think the debt is paid and I am forgiven. However there must be a repentant heart, a recognition of an inability to pay the debt of our sin, and belief, trust, faith, and reliance in what Jesus Christ accomplished on the cross has not only redeemed them, but that all of these sins are forgiven by this act of grace and mercy. Repentance, turning away from all worldly lusts, desires, and hopes, and clinging to forgiveness in Jesus Christ alone will result in a restored relationship with Him.
This is our example of applying forgiveness to brothers and sisters who have done offense against us and have a repentant heart. We certainly will come up against those who do offense against us and do not repent of it. Let our heart be pure in these matters. Though they might not repent our heart can remain pure for the honor and glory of Jesus Christ. When Paul said to allow ourselves to be wronged for the unity and reputation of the church rather than to continue to harbor ill thoughts and cause division, he was saying that there is a place in our heart for forgiveness toward another person even though they do not repent. We do not need to continue to dwell on the offense for in doing so it will only rob us of joy, peace, and rest. In these occurrences I think it is best that we try to reconcile and then place and leave it all in the hands of Jesus Christ. As hard as this may seem to do, it is what honors and glorifies Jesus Christ and will give rest and peace to your soul.
There are other times our offense will come at the hands of someone who is a brother or sister in Christ. In these matters we need to look at them like Jesus Christ did while being mocked, spit upon, whipped, and nailed to the cross, when He said, “Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing”. How can we expect them to act like a follower of Jesus Christ when they are not? Their thoughts and actions will be that of the world and of Satan the influencer of it. We can expect nothing different. However, what we can do is to look to the Holy Spirit to guide and direct us in our thoughts and actions so that Jesus Christ is honored and glorified through the grace, mercy and love we are empowered to show.